Sex Myths

You most likely received some wrong sex education from friends, parents, pop culture, the media, or formal education, regardless of where and when you received it. We can assist you if you have received incorrect sex information. Generalizations are frequently made, leaving some people perplexed or hurt by the information provided. On today's blog, we'll dispel some of the sex myths and facts you might have heard.  

Myth #1: Orgasm is the pinnacle of sexual pleasure

It's a fantastic sensation to have an orgasm, but it doesn't have to be the objective of every sexual relationship. Sex is so much more than an orgasmic experience. It's all about having fun and connecting with your companion (s). Consider what it would be like if you viewed sexual pleasure as a journey rather than a destination.  

Thinking about climax as the objective of sex might generate tension rather than pleasure. According to a study, when a person is under pressure to perform sexually, their sympathetic nervous system is activated, causing an increase in the production of stress hormones including adrenaline, norepinephrine, and cortisol. 

These hormones raise blood pressure and diminish blood flow to the genitals, resulting in sexual dysfunction (e.g., decreased vulva feeling, erectile dysfunction, repressed arousal) and a more stressful sexual dynamic between couples.  

Orgasms aren't guaranteed in every sexual encounter, and the pressure to perform might add to the tension. The orgasm gap still exists, according to a 2020 study. The orgasm gap is a phenomenon in which male partners orgasm at higher rates than female partners in heterosexual relationships. 

In addition, a Healthline article underlines the importance of pleasure during sex in addition to orgasm. Safety, well-being, respect, and connection are also disregarded when focusing solely on obtaining orgasm, according to the essay.  

Myth #2: Sexual activity equals vaginal penetration 

The heteronormative notion that sex is just vaginal penetration is false. According to Teen Health Source, a sexual health education service for youth provided by Planned Parenthood Canada, the definition of sex is fluid. Being sexual can mean different things to different people, and you are the only one who can decide how you define it. Sex can refer to a variety of actions that you find sexual and satisfying.  

There are several typical sexual practices, according to research published in PLOS ONE, including vaginal sex, oral sex, anal sex, sending and receiving nude photographs, and masturbation. Assuming that sex is limited to vaginal penetration excludes those who do not have or cannot have vaginal intercourse for health reasons. We can make sex more inclusive for people of various identities by extending our definitions of sex.  

Myth #3: When a person with a vulva has sex for the first time, they pop their cherry

Do you know that it means to "pop one's cherry"? The assumption that an intact hymen indicates that someone with a vulva has engaged in vaginal intercourse is known as "popping your cherry." Many people still assume that an intact hymen is a sign of purity, according to an article. So, what's this? When it comes to detecting if someone has engaged in vaginal intercourse or is "pure," "popping one's cherry" is not an accurate word.  

The hymen is a membrane that lines the vaginal opening and comes in a variety of sizes and shapes. According to Medical News Today, many persons with vulvas do not experience hymen tears during sexual intercourse, but hymens can be torn during non-sexual activities like horseback riding, cycling, gymnastics, and tampon insertion. Some persons with vaginas are born without hymen, which implies they will never "pop their cherry." 

A person does not "pop their cherry," and a "popped cherry" does not indicate that a person has lost their purity. These claims have never been proven to be true.  

Myth #4: The term "virginity" is accurate

Hanne Blank writes in her book Virgin: The Untouched History that humans have created the concept of virginity. This concept has been exploited by political and cultural forces since it almost always focuses on females in heterosexual sexual relationships. In reality, whiteness was associated with western virginity during the Renaissance and Medieval periods, and nonwhite people were considered sexually immoral.

The notion of virginity was also used by European invaders to sexually abuse Black women. White guys exploited black women's sexuality in order to justify raping and demeaning them. The concept of virginity was crucial in this historical narrative in order to justify the notion that white women were pure while black women were impure.  

The concept of virginity is problematic because it teaches women that their virginity (or sexual conduct) is a commodity for men to purchase. Women are sometimes stigmatized for being sexual, also known as "lost their virginity," although men are frequently lauded for doing so. Slut-shaming can result from the sexist notion that it is OK for males to have sex but not for women.  

Some people value virginity whether they choose abstinence (typically described as not having sex until marriage) or secondary abstinence (waiting to have sex until marriage after having sex prior). Secondary virginity is predicated on the social construction of gendered sexuality and heterosexuality, according to a study published in Sexuality & Culture. Secondary virginity is sometimes associated with conservative Christian theology, although for some, it is merely a way of preventing pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. Others make a resolve to wait until they are emotionally attached to someone, even if that means deferring sex until marriage.  

The term 'virgin' is commonly used to describe someone who has never had sex; however, the concept of sex is vague, making this a difficult task. Because everyone understands sex differently, the concept of virginity is erroneous, and the phrase is useless in assessing whether or not someone was sexually active. If you're a virgin, only you can decide, but it doesn't have to matter or have any worth unless you want it to. Professionals in the field of sexuality advise adopting less loaded phrases like 'sexual debut' or 'first sexual encounter.' 

According to Healthline, the myth of virginity might have an impact on how we think about sex and what we expect from it. The concept of virginity, as we know it, implies that when someone has sex for the first time, they are losing something, giving sex a negative connotation. 

Myth #5: Vulva and vagina are the same things

Many people, including those who have vulvas, are unaware of this. The vulva, according to Planned Parenthood, is the part of the genitals that protrude from the outside of the body of persons who were born female. The vaginal canal, on the other hand, connects the vulva to the cervix and the uterus. It is the exit point for newborns and menstrual blood. 

Take Away

Orgasm can be a limiting feeling. According to one idea, those who have penises are more likely to experience orgasm because they are taught from a young age that it is OK to explore their bodies more than those who have vulvas. The orgasm gap, according to the research, is linked to the cultural preference for penile-vaginal intercourse over more clitorally oriented sexual behaviours.